The Internet is fast becoming the latest way for lonely hearts to connect with each other all over the globe. However due to the anonymity of online forums, lying and scamming can be incredibly easy. If you are not careful you could get scammed out of your time (and feelings) or even money. So how can you tell if this person who has contacted you online is actually sincere or is a potential scammer?
The first thing to bear in mind is that 98% of the people you come into contact with online will be lying about something. Whether it is what they look like, their personality, their preferences or even the more serious end of deceit absolutely everything about themselves. Many lesbians will tell you they have come into contact with at least one of the worst end in their online career by way of a man impersonating a woman in order to gain a pseudo lesbian relationship with her.
Recently I had the unfortunate joy of becoming involved in a case concerning a serial scammer. This person fabricated all of what she told women she was 'dating'. And the thing that baffled me was the sheer amount that believed her. No one had ever spoken to her on a telephone, seen her on webcam or seen regular consistent real pictures of her. The contradictions in her story aside, there was no evidence at all to suggest this person existed. And yet there was a string of women who had believed at one point or another that this woman was in love with them and there was a real relationship. Some of these women after years still believed in the existence of her and their pseudo relationship.
After investigating and using some very cool interweb trickery I managed to trace the real identity of the person. And here is where it is strange. Over the years I have been online I have been asked to investigate and honey trap many people. Quite a few turn out to be men. While it disturbs me that a man would go to such lengths to dupe a lesbian into a pseudo online relationship rather than put the energy into finding a strait woman who wants to talk to them. I am rarely surprised. There is another set of people, both male and female who are scammers. Their only goal is money. They'll tell you sob stories and emergencies and ask for help.
But this one. She was a new breed of online scammers and players. The ones that appear to have no real motive whatsoever. Personal ego aside, this woman gained nothing financially or otherwise in maintaining these deceptions. It disturbed me. I called her out, showed her I'd found her. In the face of the overwhelming evidence she couldn't deny that wasn't her. But when asked why. The lies and the half assed excuses started. She was trying to keep herself safe. She didn't mean to hurt anyone etc etc. She still continues to this day, so any guilt over emotional pain caused to others is not enough to stop her. And why engage with women intimately in their hundreds or possibly thousands? There was no real answer.
Alter ego's are not unusual online and can actually be safe. However someone who is genuine will be using an obviously fake name, for example a 'chat handle' like my own, battling bard. They don't usually use a real looking name or altered versions of their own name.
So what can you do to avoid being scammed?
Well it sounds obvious. But use your brain and trust your instincts. If the person seems too good to be true, chances are that is the case. If their profile picture looks model perfect.. Or there are none of real people. Be suspicious. A lot of scammers use stock photo's they find on image sites. You can check this out if their picture is set to public or you save it to your HD.
Go to google image search. At the far right of the search box where you type is a grey camera image. Click it and either paste the link to the picture (right click, copy image location/url) or upload from your HD. Google will then perform a 'reverse image search' and you will find out if the picture is real. Of course this doesn't guarantee that a scammer hasn't stolen someones personal pics but in at least 80% of the cases I've investigated. Scammers aren't too bright.
If things don't add up. For example saying they are from another country but located in the US or UK. Their age and picture don't match. There aren't many pictures of them. They can not give you contact details or will not speak on a telephone or webcam.. or if they do talk on a phone, the contact is sporadic, on their terms, or long periods of unexplained inability to be contacted.
Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't. And remember you do not have to justify not diving into a relationship. No relationship was ever harmed by going too slow and getting to know someone.
You can check the location of someone if you get them to send an e-mail to you. http://whatismyipaddress.com/trace-email
Facebook is also wonderful for tracing someone if they use their cell phone. Get them to IM you and in the inbox there will be a little upsidedown teardrop next to the message, click it and it will show the location the message was sent from. Unfortunately if they use a pc fb is not so helpful and remember check ins and status locations can be faked on fb.
Just remember there is a whole lot you can hide behind a screen, have fun and enjoy networking but be careful. Love was never harmed by patience. Love and buggles to you all :)
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